Twisted
by DiamondSuns
Summary: Edward has had enough of trying to stay away from Bella. His journey takes him back to her, but when he reaches Forks he finds a most disturbing and unwelcome surprise. Could he ever forgive himself?
1. Chapter 1

**This first chapter is a little slow and short--trust me, I know. I just had to get all of Edward's feelings out before I really started this plotline! This is my first fanfic, so please, if you have any suggestions throw them out there. I promise this won't be as angst-y as it seems!**

I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of time—and not much of it—before I showed up at her door and begged her to take me back.

For days at a time I would sit in a secluded stone-like ball of myself, refusing to see the world—for everything in the world, I knew, would remind me of her. Every woman with chocolate brown hair or clumsy tendencies would leave me with my breath stopped short, a small sliver of hope in my dead heart that it could possibly be her. After I rationalized, I always realized how ridiculous I was acting. How could I forget my greatest draw? Only my love would send the scent of heaven—a secret hell for me—to caress the air around her.

The world was not worthy of her perfect scent, beauty, soul. Then again, neither was I. I closed my eyes as I sat, curled up and alone. My mind slowly let the memories flood in; her hair in the wind, the pinkness of her cheeks, and the way her eyes sparkled as she smiled. I vainly wondered if she smiled without me there. The last memory was one I usually regretted recalling, its intensity always allowing me to remember the monster that lives within me. This particular time, as the memory filled my senses, my mind did it no justice. My love's perfect, floral scent was the final piece to the puzzle. Normally, after I allowed the incredible sensation to fill my nostrils, the disgust I harbored for myself—the monster—would lash out quickly and unflinchingly. It would be then that I would snap from my daze, returning to the real world. Yet this time when I found my thirsty throat yearning to remember the taste, the smell, I was thoroughly disappointed.

My face scrunched in confusion. In the back of my mind, I knew what was happening. I refused to believe, however, that I would be able to do what for so long I had wished to accomplish. As my thoughts slowly became clearer, and as my memories died away, my deathly black eyes opened. It was then I realized the truth; I could almost feel my unmoving heart stop beating. My love—my reason for wandering, seclusion, deliriousness, self-loathing, and living—was finally drifting away. I knew that somewhere she was smiling without me. I now would never smile again. My inability to remember the warmth of her touch and eyes led me to make a decision—very irresponsible, but now ultimately irreversible. I could never live in a world where my love would love another, in a world where my love would forget me as I had devastatingly started to forget her. My sudden decision was resolute. I would not lose her again; it was soulfully impossible. It tore my cold heart into nothing with merely the thought. If I could not live in a world without her, I would return to her and shamelessly beg for her back. If I had any pride, it would go to waste. I needed her touch, her warmth, her selflessness, but most of all, I needed her unconditional love.

As my chest ached of her, I knew I must win her back or die. Subconsciously I stood, taking no note of anything around me. My feet moved automatically, quickly, my muscles on autopilot. It was as though they knew exactly where to take me: as many steps as it took to return to the one I lived for, the one reason I cared. My love. My Bella.

**So--tell me if you would like me to continue this or not. I actually do have a story line I would like to follow, I just can't seem to get the words out quick enough to satisfy my busy schedule. R&R are appreciated! Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

The airplane couldn't land quickly enough. It couldn't unload quickly enough. In fact, nothing in my immediate vision was able to move quickly enough to satisfy me. Unfortunately, I could not allow myself to run, for I was surrounded by countless humans on both sides. I exhaled slowly, trying to calm my nerves. I noticed a young teenage girl with bushy brown hair gazing up at me; her eyes were glazed over. A gust of wind blew throughout the confined space as the pilot opened the door, and the girl shook her head, blushing slightly. My lips involuntarily rose to a small smirk. It seemed Bella wasn't the only human my scent worked its charm on.

Finally, we were disembarking at a snail's pace. The thoughts of those around me were disgruntled as we walked through the Port Angeles airport—I was the only passenger who seemed to be ecstatic at my point of destination. The crowd thinned quickly. The less people I saw, the faster I began to walk. I was only a few yards away from exiting through the doors and into the pouring rain when I heard it.

"_Edward."_

My feet stopped dead in their tracks, my eyes growing wide. Who had said that? I allowed my black eyes to scan the scarce amount of people in this side of the building. Every human was absorbed in their own doings. Suddenly it struck me that I was acting grossly conceited. There are other Edwards in the world besides me. I continued walking.

"_Edward, come here."_

The breath shot through my mouth in a quick huff as I glanced around once again. No one was speaking these words; they were thinking them. It was if they knew, somehow…

"_For goodness' sake, Edward!"_ The thoughts sounded annoyed.

The last time my eyes searched the walls, they spotted something. Or rather, someone.

"Alice." I spoke calmly and quietly; I knew she could hear me.

"Hello, Edward" Alice sang. Her quick feet brought her springing into my arms, almost knocking me down.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her, giving in and hugging her back.

"I saw you," she informed me simply as she drew back. Her eyes twinkled in light of her joyous mood that day. Seemingly out of nowhere, a tall, blond, wonderfully handsome man passed out of the rain and through the doors, heading straight towards us. His white teeth flashed as he smiled at me.

"Hello, Jasper," I grinned. No matter how much I would have liked to be annoyed at Alice for following me here, my mood stayed pleased; I believed it may have had something to do with Jasper's presence. I couldn't be annoyed with him, however. I was positive he was only tagging along for the ride.

"Good afternoon, Edward. It's nice to see you," he said smoothly. When he reached where my sister and I stood, he grabbed Alice's tiny hand. I turned my gaze to the glass doors as they entwined their icy fingers. Just outside, I was able to see a small car sitting in the rain, its lights still on.

"I'm assuming that's for us?" I asked. Alice smiled lightly and nodded, scooting closer to Jasper. "Then I suppose we should go," I told them.

They followed me out the doors, through the puddles, and into the car. I automatically slid into the driver's seat, prepared to rebut any complaints from Alice of Jasper. When all I heard was silence, my mood brightened slightly.

Alice and Jasper both crawled gracefully into the back seat of the Lexus that Jasper had gotten for us. They sat on opposite sides of the car, hands meeting in the middle. I glanced in the rearview mirror and was slightly surprised by what I saw there.

"What are you so happy about?" I asked, my voice conveying my curiosity. Alice's teeth emitted a bright shine in the otherwise darkness of the car as she smiled widely. I started the car and quickly slid into traffic—not that there was much.

"You're here," Alice answered me, speaking aloud to allow Jasper to join in our conversation. Her smile widened as she continued. "And there would only be one reason you would ever return here."

"What's that?" I asked dully, sounding completely uninterested. I knew otherwise. My hands became reacquainted with the steering wheel and gearshift as I led us quickly—too quickly for some humans—away from Port Angeles.

"Like you don't know," she scoffed, but the smile stayed on her beautiful face. Alice's merry condition rubbed off onto Jasper, in turn rubbing off onto me. "Bella!" Alice cried, her grin showing more teeth than ever as she said the name aloud.

"Bella," I repeated softly, her lovely name rolling off my tongue smoothly. "Yes, Bella," I smiled. It was the first time I had allowed myself to speak her name, to let my lips make the motions of my favorite word, since I had left her that day, nearly six months ago.

"I've missed her," Alice mused. "It's as though our family hasn't been whole without her with us." Alice's smile faded, but only the tiniest bit.

I realized the implications behind her words—I had let our family crumble under my weakness, my sadness, after I left Forks. I couldn't blame Alice for being sad—or even bitter—about the situation. But that was all about to change. "I know," I whispered. Our eyes met through the rearview mirror. Alice's held sadness, sympathy, and—oddly enough—a bit of curiosity as I gazed into their light amber color.

"Will you change her?" The question came so softly, so quickly that I wasn't even sure that I'd heard it. But when I glanced once again to the back of the car, I found that same curiosity in Alice's eyes growing stronger.

"Yes," I answered her softly and truthfully. I had never been so completely resolute about a decision before. "If she'll still have me."

Jasper and Alice laughed, the angelic noise filling the car like music. "Of course she'll still have you!" Jasper told me happily. His smile was apparent in his voice.

"Are you sure?" I questioned. After what I'd done to her—left her, would she—_could_ she forgive me? My thought process increased as I spotted a sign through the rain announcing that we were speedily approaching Forks.

"Would you like me to check?" Alice asked me. I couldn't decide—would I want to know of her joyous acceptance and have the surprise be ruined? Or would I wish to know of her decision to reject returning to me, so that I wouldn't actually have to go through with it? I could save myself a little more heartbreak and turn back now if that was how the vision would play out. I decided the latter would be more humiliating.

"Yes." I closed my eyes for a small moment as I drove, breathing in and out deeply. What would I do if she rejected me? Would I spend my life courting her? She loved me once, I had faith she could love me again. Or maybe I would need to just respect Bella's decision and head to Rome—the Volterra would know what to do with me.

Alice let out a small frustrated sound from the back seat. I glanced at the mirror—her reflection showed agitation oh her perfect features.

"Alice, what?" I asked impatiently. I knew that if I'd had a beating heart, it would be working furiously at this point.

"I… I can't see her," Alice informed me and Jasper. There was a trace of disappointment, confusion, and agitation in her quiet voice.

"Not at all?" I asked, unbelieving. Why wouldn't Alice be able to see Bella? Was my love alright? I could never forgive myself if something happened to her. I wouldn't forgive myself.

"No," Alice sighed, resigned. Her small face dropped in sadness and she allowed her head to rest on Jasper's strong shoulder. As he reached up to stroke her short, dark hair, she went on. "This is very curious; it's never happened before. I've never _not_ been able to look for a specific person in my mind." Alice's musings definitely weren't reassuring my ever-growing doubt.

"So—what does it mean?" I asked impatiently. Jasper quickly touched my tense shoulder, turning my agitation into quiet wonder.

"I'm not sure," Alice said calmly, slowly. Her fingers fidgeting within Jasper's hand didn't escape my notice.

"Something bad?" I asked just as slowly. Glancing once again out the dark window, I noticed a sign welcoming me to the great town of Forks. Suddenly I wasn't so ecstatic to be there.

"Edward, stop assuming the worst," Jasper scolded me. I slowed my breathing in attempt to do the same for my racing mind.

"Alice—didn't you ever look for Bella before? When I was gone?" I wondered.

"You told me not to," Alice answered simply. Damn her and her moral values. "I don't know why I could see her before, though, before we left Forks. It's as though she's disappeared altogether." Jasper felt my mood tense immensely. I knew without looking that he was squeezing Alice's hand, warning her of my "fragile condition," or so his mind thought. I scoffed at the description.

"Sorry, Edward," Alice apologized softly. I heard their thoughts of mixed worry for me and for Bella. They wondered what would happen if she was no longer in Forks, if she refused me, if she didn't remember our family. Their last thought hit me the hardest, figuratively knocking the wind from my lungs.

"We're here," I told them grimly. I blocked out their minds; they were becoming too strong for me to handle. "I'll drop you two off at home." I didn't want Alice and Jasper to accompany me on my quest to revive old love. I could only see them nodding their heads slowly in the back seat.

I led the car through the overgrown branches and shrubs blocking out our old driveway. Slowly—for me, at least—we cleared the pass and the white house came into view. I refused to allow any memories to flood in, for I knew they would only be of Bella and the times we'd shared there. The car stopped short, more distance than usual between me and the beautiful old home. Alice and Jasper didn't ask questions, only slid from the back seat quietly.

"_Be safe, Edward."_

The words I heard coming from Alice's thoughts struck me in the chest, squeezing my cold heart of its feeling. My face crumpled in sadness as Jasper shut the car door quietly, but my posture stayed strong. I drove away quickly, kicking up gravel behind the wheels. Suddenly the world was suffocating; everything in this old familiar town let Bella slowly creep back into my thoughts. I couldn't breathe until I knew she was safe.

The trees flew by as fast as ever—I needn't think about where or when my hands turned the wheel. I could drive the route to my love's house blindfolded if I desired. I almost did.

The familiar two-story came into view quicker than I'd hoped. This was it—the decision that would ultimately determine my life. If she would have me—there were no words to describe the joy, the ecstasy I would feel throughout my body, my soul. Bella's existence had convinced me that I possessed one, no matter how small. I knew by simply seeing her once again my soul would grow twice its size in pure jubilation and emotion. It had been dwindling away each day I'd been away from her.

I parked the Lexus on the street across from her driveway and turned the keys. I heard the engine slowly die. I hoped that wasn't a sign of what I would soon be going through. I stepped from the car and closed my door as quietly as I could, not bothering to lock it. As I neared the house, I realized something was different; something was wrong. The old plant sitting on the doorstep was gone. The curtains were no longer hanging in Bella's old bedroom window. To top it all off, the cab was nowhere to be seen.

My mind raced at the possibilities: Bella had moved. She'd gone back to stay with her mother. She'd fell from a cliff. The longer I thought the more ridiculous my imagination became. Soon I was convinced that Bella had met a new, more handsome vampire and had run off to marry him. It was then that I once again heard it.

"_Edward."_

**Sorry I had to end it like that! I've started Chapter 3, though, so hopefully it will be up soon. Thank you all for your great reviews, I appreciate them so much!! They really inspire me to keep writing, so keep them coming if you please. And I promise you will get to see Bella in the next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

"_Edward."_

I whipped around to face the sound of the voice. The thought was by far the most tempting, most amazingly beautiful sounding mind of any I had ever come across, and was sure I ever would. I knew that if this mind ever gave me a command, I would follow it blindly, without a second thought. I wanted it to think again. I wanted it to think nonstop. I wanted to lay in the meadow with this voice surrounding me, letting the alluring sound drift through my senses and fill my heart of its emptiness.

"_Edward,"_ it thought again. The voice sounded guarded and sad. I wanted to rid this beautiful voice of all its unhappiness and hold it in my arms, keeping it safe.

"Who's there?" I called softly, failing to make my voice sound strong. Instead, it shook slightly. The wonderful thoughts started again, all of me. They were just as addictive as before, maybe even more so. They were filled with curiosity, longing, fright, protection, and extreme fright.

"_Can he hear me?"_ the angelic mind wondered frantically.

"Yes," I whispered aloud. My feet took me forward a few steps without my knowledge. "Who are you?"

The mind was suddenly silent. I couldn't bear it. I needed its perfect voice to speak to me again. "Please tell me," I sighed. My steps took me tentatively closer to the forest, closer to where the voice was coming from.

After a few minutes, it spoke again._ "I can't,"_ it replied softly.

I didn't understand. As I moved slowly through the trees, I somehow knew the voice was moving away from my steps. "Please don't run," I pleaded. I needed to be as close to this remarkably attractive voice as physically possible. "Why can't you tell me?"

"_You wouldn't want to know."_ The hurt in the voice was back, making my heart ache with it. What had happened to make this angel so despondent? I subconsciously promised to fix it.

"But I do," I sighed. The voice didn't understand how spectacularly tempting they were. The silence stabbed me quickly and repeatedly. I would do anything to make it start again. "Why wouldn't I want to know?" I wondered aloud.

Silence followed. I was losing them, whoever they were. How could this person have distracted me from my journey for Bella? Bella…

"Do you know Bella Swan?" I asked the person, louder this time. I wasn't sure exactly how far they'd gotten from me.

The voice answered just as loud as before. Just as captivating as well. "_Yes."_

My dead heart skipped a beat. Bella must still be around. "Do you know where she is?" I asked quickly. My mind was getting ahead of itself. I needn't scare the angel away. When I received no answer, I couldn't help but trying again. "Did she move away from here?" I prayed the answer was no.

I was not rewarded. _"…Yes,"_ the mind thought hesitantly. I could tell this was not a welcome subject. I wondered how well they knew Bella. I wondered what Bella had done to make this angel so hesitant to speak about her. I wondered what this person was doing sneaking in the forest behind Bella's house.

I decided to ignore my last thought. "How do you know me?" I asked. This was a pressing question. Almost as intriguing as to where Bella was.

"_Bella spoke of you often,"_ the voice replied. The emotion in which the voice was thinking had me walking again, searching for this heavenly sound.

"Good or bad?" This I needed to know most of all—if it was bad, then I might as well turn around and head back to South America. If not…

"_Bella was very fond of you, no matter what she told me. The sparkle in her eyes when she thought of you was wonderful to see. Especially during her darker days,"_ the lovely mind thought. It had stopped moving and therefore I had stopped walking as well. I needed to keep my distance; I was worried if I got too close, the angel would flee.

"Darker days?" I asked curiously. No matter how hard I tried, I failed to imagine Bella as dark or dangerous.

"_Yes. After you left."_ My breathing increased exponentially after this last sentence flowed through me. How could this person know so much about our history? I didn't like the thought of my love sharing all our secrets with this person, no matter how infatuating their mind was.

"How do you know that?" I asked sternly. My voice conveyed my wonder and slight agitation.

"_Edward, do you honestly not know?"_ the angel asked innocently. It was the most astoundingly pure and genuine question I had ever heard.

"No," I whispered softly. Even to myself I sounded idiotic. I let my feet carry me once again toward the mind's perfect voice, no longer caring if they decided to flee. I could feel myself nearing the angel, for their draw was becoming stronger.

The voice answered clearly and beautifully as I stepped through the final brush that kept me from seeing the angel's face. _"Edward, I _am_ Bella."_

**I'm sorry--it seems as though I'm a short chapter writer. How about I update frequently with short chapters, instead of sporadically with long ones? Thanks for all your reviews! I wouldn't mind more. :D**


	4. Chapter 4

For the first time in almost one hundred years, I was positive I was dreaming. I gathered all the strength I had left in my suddenly weak body and attempted to speak through my dreaming state.

"Bella?" I mouthed. It seemed even all my strength couldn't help me form the words. The perfect creature in front of me only nodded. My lips curved into a smile. "This is a wonderful dream," I sighed, so content in that moment. I felt so tired all of a sudden—it was lucky that I was taking a rest after almost a decade.

Bella smiled along with me. "We both know you can't dream." Her smile was stunning.

We stood drinking each other in for a moment before I moved towards her. Bella flinched slightly at my sudden action but did not back away when I stroked my cold hand down her cheek. I leaned in towards her, pausing a few seconds with my eyes level with hers. In this dream, Bella was different. I didn't take the time to figure out why before I let my frozen lips press softly—ever so softly—to her perfectly luscious ones. I wasn't sure if it could be considered a kiss. Only the fullest points of our top and bottom lips touched, our mouths left open to breathe the other's scent. "Bella," I sighed, taking her in.

My love moved in closer to me, cautiously, slowly. I felt her fingers brush the back of my hand. I used my quick ability to catch that hand in mine before she drew it away, fearing for my sanity if she did.

Our movements, while careful, were electric with tenderness and affection. The simple flutter of her eyelashes would shock my whole body, leaving me trembling.

My dream self could take it no longer. I opened my eyes to gaze into hers, hoping to see reflected in them what I knew she must see in mine: total and complete love. I was curiously unable to read her expression, though I could read her mind clearly.

"_Kiss me."_

I needed no more encouragement. I pressed my icy mouth to hers, my hands pulling on the small of her back. I never wanted to wake from this delicious dream. Her touch was intoxicating; her fingers tracing lightly over my neck was enough to send me over the edge.

Bella's desire got the best of her as her tongue softly caressed my lips, asking for entrance. With overwhelming regret, I pulled away. "Bella…" I breathed her name, my hands dropping to circle her waist in my strong grip.

"What?" she asked shyly, sadness beginning to pull at her beautiful features.

"You know I can't…"

With this last sentence, she tensed. It was as if her body was preparing for a battle, one in which she was determined not to get hurt.

"Edward, look at me," she told me sternly. I reluctantly allowed her to leave my grasp only to have her stand before me. My dark eyes searched hers. Her gaze left my face and looked downward to herself, so I followed, my fingers already yearning to touch my Bella once again.

But the more I looked, the less I saw of my Bella. Her soft curves had turned voluptuous, her skin vacant of color. I scanned her face. Her teeth no longer had the small overlap, but were seemingly perfect in size and structure. She flashed a quick smile, allowing me to notice their extreme whiteness. Bella's hair was still long—but now more chocolaty and thick, making me long to reach out and run it through my fingers. I ended on Bella's eyes. The brown I had before seen as warm and alluring now reflected back at me a color resembling my usual one—amber.

My mind was reeling. I knew what this meant—I obviously knew those characteristics. I just had never expected to see them on Bella.

"You would make a magnificent vampire," I informed her, giving in to my prior want and stroking her lavish strands of hair.

A look of confusion flitted across her stunning new features. "Edward, listen to me." My eyes wandered to her perfect face, filling myself with nothing but her presence. "You're not dreaming. This is me." I simply half-smiled, amused at her attempts to make this real. It was so like Bella to try and please me when I was already pleased beyond belief.

"Don't worry, love, I'll find you when I wake," I reassured her. My hands trailed down her neck and shoulders, all the way down to her fingertips and back up again.

"Edward!" Bella cried, momentarily annoyed. I didn't like any look on her angelic face besides the look of contentment.

"What?" I asked quietly, silently trying to decipher what had gotten her agitated.

"_How can I make you see?"_ her beautiful voice thought. I let the sound fill my senses. The only thing I couldn't figure out was at what point I had started to dream this wonderful dream. I was lost in thought when Bella's mind interrupted me. _"Watch."_

My fingers stopped their trail on her skin as Bella caught my hand in hers, her skin as soft as ever. Slowly—never breaking eye contact—she brought my hand to rest above her left breast, obviously wishing me to feel her heart beat within her divine body. I felt nothing.

My eyes left hers to look down at our hands, unbelieving. The hand covering my own reached up and stroked my cheek. It all started piecing together.

"Edward, you can't smell me anymore, can you?" she asked me quietly, her voice carrying caution and pain. "You can't smell me because I have no blood." Bella's new heavenly face flashed as light rain fell through the canopy of trees above us. "You can't hear my thoughts. My skin, it's cold. Edward, where's my flush?" She went on. My eyes grew wider with each word she spoke. Could it be?

If in fact I wasn't dreaming—which I realized must be the case seeing as I was unable, then could my beautiful Bella really have become one of us? I let my hands rest on her chilly cheeks, waiting for the warmth to seep through. It didn't.

"Edward, I'm a vampire," Bella whispered. I knew for that moment if she were lying and she was a human, tears would be falling from those now magnificent amber eyes. It was clear by the hurt on her face. I tried to wipe away her pain with my hands, smoothing them over her cool, hard features.

What did this mean? She spoke from beneath my wandering hands.

"I know my life is lost and my heart is dead." It broke my own to hear her say this. "But know that if it still beat inside me, as sometimes I pretend it might, it would beat for you, as it always has." I was sure I could feel imaginary tears welling up inside me. "Only you, Edward."

**Yay for sappy love stories! I'm not sure where I'm going to go with the next chapter, and I have a grossly large amount of homework piling up, so please forgive if I don't have the next one up by tomorrow! Of course, I might get struck by inspiration and shoot out the next chapter, so never lose faith.**


	5. Chapter 5

I cradled Bella in my arms for what seemed like hours. Every once in a while I would trail kisses down her neck and over her closed eyelids, feeling her shudder beneath me. I never wanted to move; no one could make me.

"Edward?" Bella said faintly. I could feel her mouth moving against my chest.

"Mmm?" I sighed into her soft hair.

"I missed you." Her thoughts were sad as she remembered all the pain she had gone through without me by her side. How could I ever have left her? Did I honestly believe we would be better off without each other?

"I'm so sorry, Bella." I touched my cold lips to her temple. "I missed you too; more than one could imagine." I didn't include the anecdote of which I sat pathetically on the ground for days on end. Instead, I tried to come up with the words to describe how I had felt. "The moment I left you in these very woods"—I could feel Bella tremble at the memory—"it was as though someone had caught hold of my one loose string. The longer I was gone, the more I could feel the string thinning. The farther away I got from you the farther it was unraveled. In the end, I had no covering. Just a thin thread connecting my heart back to yours."

Bella's head lifted from my chest and her honey-colored eyes met my dark ones carefully. "Mine wasn't like that at all," she said quietly. "The first few minutes after you left I knew there would be no string to pull upon. I had no covering from the start. It was not a gradual pain. It was staggeringly powerful and painful—but most of all, constant." The thought of my causing Bella that much pain was bad enough; to see the agony on her face was a new misery altogether.

I could think of nothing to say to ease her distress, so I requested a favor.

"Run with me."

A smile slowly appeared on my love's face. I smiled back, taking in a deep breath and letting her seep in.

"Where to?" Bella questioned.

"Does it matter?" I wondered. She beamed and grasped my hand tightly—I could feel the new vampire strength in her fingers. Our feet started quickly and soon we were up to speed. I was surprised—Bella was able to keep up with me even at my fastest.

I needn't ask where we were going—our legs carried us toward an old familiar area of the forest. We saw the light at the same time; I felt Bella's grip on my hand tighten.

When we reached the meadow, we lay in the middle, directly beneath the sky. We didn't mind that it was still raining, although I was worried for Bella in only a blouse and jean capris. We rested in each other's arms, her head tucked beneath my chin and our legs entwined.

I realized that for some reason I could now hear her thoughts, but I courteously blocked them out. I wasn't sure if this was a good time for questions, but there were too many burning the tip of my tongue to hold back.

"Bella?" I whispered through the crashing thunder above us.

"Yes?" her sweet voice answered me.

"Why…" My thoughts raced on how to ask this delicate question—the most important. "How are you a vampire?" She had to know it would be coming sooner or later.

"So you're accepting it?" I could hear the grin in her voice.

"For now—maybe. If you tell me a believable explanation." I tried my best to sound threatening.

"What happens if I don't?" Bella mocked me. "Will you not believe me? Will you lock me up and throw away the key because I'm a lunatic?" Even though her tone was light, I knew she was not-so-casually trying to find a way to avoid the subject.

"Bella, please…" I breathed into her ear. Her wet body shuddered in the rain, water droplets falling from her long hair and sliding down her arms.

"You'll be very angry," she warned.

"I'll be angry no matter when you tell me, Bella," I reasoned with her. The dreaded feeling in my gut began to twist me even further.

"I know." Bella sat in silence for a few minutes, gathering her thoughts. I couldn't help myself—I had to peek; I unblocked my mind from her thoughts.

What I found was surprising. "I can't hear your mind anymore," I told her wonderingly. The disappointment was apparent in my voice.

"I know," she teased. "That's my special ability."

I didn't understand. "What is?" I asked.

Bella smiled and shook her head, sending a wave of her new, magnificent scent over me. The sensation was just as alluring as her human scent—but not in a bloodlust sort of way. In a completely different sort of way altogether—the way a man should want a woman.

"Your inability to hear my thoughts." My silence let Bella know I was still misunderstanding her. "I can choose who is able to effect me," Bella went on. "Since I don't want you to read my thoughts right now, you can't. If in a few minutes someone came along and I wished to keep our conversation private, you would be able to hear my thoughts again."

"Wow." I realized how wonderful of a gift that would be to have. Of course my Bella would be the one to receive it—no one was more special than her. "Does this work for everyone?" I wondered.

"Well, I haven't exactly tried it on _everyone_," she teased, "but I'm pretty sure it does, yes. It's worked on all the vampires I've fought off so far."

I felt my grip on her tighten automatically. "_All_ of them?" I choked out. "Exactly how many vampires have you been fighting while I was away?" Bella's thoughts opened unexpectedly.

"_Only one; you," _she remembered sadly. It broke my frozen heart. I tried to hear more, but she closed her mind to me once again.

"It was a joke, Edward," she laughed softly. "I haven't been fighting any vampires. Relax."

I only brushed my lips over her jaw line as a response. I didn't like the idea of Bella being on her own, fighting vampires, struggling to drink from only animals. Suddenly I was worried.

"Did you ever drink from…" I paused slightly, not wanting to sound inconsiderate. I wasn't sure how sensitive Bella was on the subject of her lost life. "…a human?" I finished.

"Not once," she told me joyously. She was so proud of herself that I couldn't help but to be ecstatic right along with her. My mouth bent to meet with her forehead, kissing her tenderly where her divine mind lay beneath.

"You're amazing," I told her. I knew how hard it was for a vampire to resist humans, especially right after one had been changed. Jasper had enough trouble even today, with our whole family helping him stay strong. I couldn't fathom Bella's self control. Alone, only just changed; it couldn't have been more than five months she had been one of us. How had she done it? After first changing, the difference in intensity of our senses is frightening. Vampires are much more advanced with all sensations—they arrive much stronger. I was contemplating how powerfully Bella must have felt about restraining from human blood when she spoke.

"Edward, what are you thinking about?" Her gorgeous features were worried.

"Look how the tables have turned," I chuckled, remembering the question that usually came from my side of the conversation.

Bella grinned and rolled her eyes. "But really—what's with the look?"

"What look?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"The"—she made an impression of my expression before, showing worry and astonishment—"look." I couldn't help bursting out in laughter.

"Edward!" she cried, pushing me lightly on the shoulder. I pulled her back in, her head under my chin and my nose buried in her dripping hair.

"I was just in awe," I replied simply. "You obviously know now how attuned a vampire's senses are, and when you were hunting for the first time I'm surprised you didn't take down all of Forks," I joked. "Especially since you were alone." My voice held traces of wonder and pride. My beautiful Bella was not only the most astonishingly, wonderfully gorgeous vampire I'd ever laid eyes on, but it seemed she was in the running for the most powerful as well.

She stiffened in my arms as I commented about her lone situation. "Edward?" she whispered.

"Yes, my love?" I asked cautiously. I wasn't so sure if I wanted to know what she felt she needed to be so guarded about.

"I… I wasn't exactly alone." Bella shifted beneath my arms in discomfort. What did she mean, she wasn't alone? Had she found someone new to love? That didn't coincide with what she had told me earlier.

"You weren't alone?" I confirmed. She nodded her head, her chocolate hair brushing my chin and neck. "Well, who were you with?" My voice shook unconsciously.

Bella hesitated; her breath drew in but not out. I could feel her mind in the works even if I couldn't hear the beautiful voice that accompanied it. "I was with Carlisle."

**"Huh?" you think. I do not blame you. I think "huh?" myself. Like I think it to myself right now as to why I ended this chapter the way I just did. I was getting tired of writing and if I really ended this where I wanted to--then it would basically be another few days until I had it posted. So I apologize. :D Tell me what you think! R&R! Bring me cookies!**


	6. Chapter 6

I didn't allow myself to speak, to breathe, to even think. Bella had been with… Carlisle? How was this even possible? I was sure it wasn't.

I glanced back to the breathtaking vampire lying in my arms; her eyes were careful with remorse. I could tell she had predicted my reaction to this news. Or maybe Carlisle had told her what he suspected I would do. It seemed he knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.

"So," I started casually, "what were you doing hanging out with Carlisle?" I couldn't hide the tint of menace in my voice as I went on. "Did you two have a nice chat while I was away? Decide you couldn't wait for my return before you reached eternal damnation?"

Bella flinched, letting her eyes close. "It wasn't Carlisle's idea—please don't be angry with him." She shivered. "Plus—how was I supposed to know you were even coming back at all?"

"Bella, if you knew me at all"—I noticed quick anger flash through her topaz eyes—"You would know I can't live without you. How many times have I told you that?" I touched my cold fingertips to her cheeks—no longer warm.

"Edward," she pleaded, "Stop." I followed her command with my words, but my fingers continued their trail down her lovely face. "You made me believe you were never returning, that there was no hope. No matter how deep I looked into your eyes I could see no trace of a lie—so I let you leave. My life was over when you went anyway."

I couldn't stand to hear that. "That doesn't make it right that Carlisle did this to you!" I growled.

"Edward!" Bella cried from my stone grasp, "He didn't do this to me!"

My mind raced. If not Carlisle, then who? Victoria? Alice? I'd kill them both. "Who?" I choked out—my voice so low I could hardly hear it; I knew she could.

"Just let me explain first, please," Bella asked softly. It was the least I could do. I only nodded my head, encouraging her to go on with her story.

"After you left, I was… not myself," Bella started tentatively. "I fell away from the world—Charlie even noticed, it was that bad," she let out a shaky laugh, although the smile didn't reach her eyes. I only stared at her sadly, my icicles of fingers tracing the outline of her luscious lips.

"I felt so alone. There was no one I could talk about you to, obviously." She waved her hand at my vampire self, "so I didn't talk to anyone. There was nothing I thought of besides you." Bella caught my fingers on her cheek, holding them to her face tightly. "You hurt me, Edward," her whisper broke. I could cry. I opened my mouth, but she held my finger up to her lips in a quiet motion. "I know you were trying to do what you thought was right. I thank you for that." Bella's sad eyes did not look thankful, however.

"There was someone who realized how hurt I was. Just when I was about to go over the edge, they returned to me. They helped me realize I didn't need to do anything… rash." My throat burned when I realized my love had almost hurt herself—her perfect, angel self—because of something I had done.

"Bella," I choked out, but she shook her head once again; I could feel her thick hair tickling my arm.

"Edward, it's really my fault, this," she motioned to her delicious vampire body. "No matter how hard my friend tried, they were unsuccessful in giving me hope to go on without you. I know I was stubborn, but I knew I couldn't. Finally, they realized it too." My brow scrunched in confusion. Why was she still keeping her friend's identity a secret from me?

"So they decided to agree to my begging and pleading—what I had been asking ever since they'd returned to me." I felt Bella breathe deeply, her cool, sweet breath on my chin and neck. "They changed me."

"And what good did they possibly think could come of that?" I demanded, my eyes flashing with annoyance at her "friend."

"I wanted anything to be closer to you," my love said, her careful voice very small. "I told you it's my fault—I convinced her to do it."

_Her_, I heard over again in my mind. "Was it Alice?" I growled, pulling Bella closer to me.

"Edward, please. You're not listening to me," she pleaded, her voice swaying. I met her gaze with my own, willing her to continue.

"After she changed me…" Bella paused; it seemed she was struggling for words. "She didn't stay with me like she had promised." I felt a low rumbling form in my throat, but Bella went on, "she felt awful; Carlisle told me that much. She realized what she had done. Her guilt for changing me went far beyond anything else she had felt before, so she ran. I don't blame her, Edward."

I shot a look at her, but she rebutted it quickly, "Don't. You don't know how long I had asked her to change me. If every hour of every day of every month you were being asked, wouldn't you get worn down?" My anger subsided, but only slightly.

We sat there a few minutes staring at each other. Finally, I spoke. "So, who was it?"

She stilled, not even breathing. I noted quietly how different it was to not be able to see her blush when she was embarrassed, or feel her heart rate race when she was anxious. It seemed I would need to learn to read her all over again; that is, if she decided to keep her mind closed to me most of the time.

I felt Bella's fingers reach out to find my hand; she brushed it lightly and grabbed hold, bringing it up to her lips and kissing my palm. "Don't get angry," she whispered. I nodded, although I already knew that was a lie. I would be furious, no matter whom it was. Bella had been mine to change; it was going to bring us together, to make us one. I would have been able to control myself. I felt it now, even if I hadn't back then.

Then she spoke, her words perfectly articulated in her amazingly alluring voice. "Esme changed me."

**Such corny endings to my chapters. :D Anyway, I'm SO sorry for how long this took to get up! I've been studying like a mad woman for my AP test tomorrow--I just had to take a break to finish this one. Sorry it's short. :( Anyway, please review, and maybe I shall get a new one up sooner!**


	7. Chapter 7

The trickle of rain slowly died as the cover of clouds drifted away. The sun lit the sky brightly; Bella and I shone as one, the light of our diamond skin melting into the other's. I glanced at my love, noticing droplets of mud covering spots on her cool face. Her eyes flickered open as I used my thumbs to softly wipe the dirt away.

"Hi," she smiled at me.

"Hey," I answered, grinning back. Her eyes warmed, scanning over my face and slowly down my stone body. I chuckled, cupping her chin in my palm and lifting her gaze to meet mine. "Are you checking me out?" I raised an eyebrow.

Her grin turned sly, an eyebrow rising to match mine. "Well, aren't we conceited?"

I shook my head and sighed, loosening my hold on her and sitting up. "Well?" I asked, trying hard to hide my smile; I failed miserably.

Her face turned mock serious. "I'm sorry—I remembered you as being much more attractive. I guess I was wrong. I'm afraid I can't be with you anymore." Bella shrugged her shoulders, sitting up as well.

"Good, because I was just about to say the same thing about you," I informed her sarcastically. "I'm glad I don't have to worry about hurting your feelings." We both stared at each other with narrowed eyes until she wasn't able to take it; a small smile appeared on her face as she broke out in laughter. It was a sound I could only compare to a heavenly song, filling the air with angelic music that I knew would become stuck in my head. I had no choice but to laugh along.

I stood, my clothes dripping with rain and mud. I reached my hand out for her and she obliged. I felt that familiar spark as our fingers touched, sending chills down my spine. When she was fully upright I released her hand and tucked a strand of her dripping hair lightly behind her ear. She stared into my eyes timidly. I knew she was wondering where my reaction was, why I hadn't blown up yet.

"I'm not going to waste my time being angry with you," I whispered softly to Bella. I allowed my cold hand to trace the line of her jaw. Her eyes were sad but accepting; she let a long sigh escape from between her luscious lips. I could almost taste her sweet breath tickling at my senses.

"You shouldn't waste your time being angry with anyone," Bella's musical voice informed me. She glanced down at herself and shook her head at the mess she had become.

"What do you mean?" I asked her, my voice tinted with agitation. "I'm allowed to be angry, Bella."

She sighed again and her stunning eyes met my own, holding them for a while. "It's not going to do you any good. First of all, it's not Esme's fault. Second, Esme… she's not here." Bella's eyes held a knowing despondence. Mine held confusion.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, my eyebrows scrunched. "I thought you said Carlisle was here with you."

"He is." She turned her gaze to the ground again; it seemed almost as though she was ashamed. "Esme left without him."

I couldn't believe what she was saying. Esme left without Carlisle? That was… impossible. They had always been together. I couldn't imagine them apart. I glanced at Bella to find her nodding very slowly at me, as though she knew what I was thinking.

"It's my fault," she whispered. The pained look on my love's face was excruciating for me to endure—I wanted to wipe it away, to soothe her anguish. I started to shake my head, but she stopped me. "Edward, it is. If I hadn't made her… everything would be okay. You would have been able to change me like I'd always dreamed—that is, if you had ever given in—and Esme would be with Carlisle, where she belongs." I could have sworn I saw tears forming, but I knew that was impossible. "I'm a home wrecker," she mumbled quietly.

"Bella," I sighed, slightly angry with her thoughts. "You are _not_ a home wrecker." She tilted her head at me with a challenging face. "You're not." She stood there waiting for more, but I couldn't think of anything to say at that moment—I felt as though I should comfort my love, but my mind was empty of comforting words. I finally spoke the mundane ones that were usually spoken in a situation such as this. "Everything will be all right."

She just stared at me with her angel eyes, unbelieving. "I think Carlisle would like to see you," she told me softly. I wasn't sure I wanted to leave this perfect spot with my lovely Bella, but I was convinced—partly by Bella's pleading eyes and partly by the image of Carlisle sitting alone, dwelling over his loss of the most important thing in his entire existence. I could relate.

We ran through the forest quickly, but not hurriedly. It was a stroll in vampire speed. The closer we got to the beautiful home, the more I expected the voices to start in my head. I wanted to know what Carlisle was thinking; I needed to know what Alice and Jasper had told him. However, as we slowed in the large front yard, the only thoughts I could hear were Jasper's and Alice's.

Bella squeezed my hand and pulled me forward slowly, acting as though I was the visitor in this house instead of her. "Are you sure Carlisle is here?" I whispered questioningly. She didn't meet my gaze but she nodded, her chocolaty brown hair falling in front of her face. She got to it before I could reach up and brush it away.

As we entered the door to my old familiar house, I felt as though I was walking in a dream. It was perfect—just as I remembered it. The total white expanse of the walls and windows embraced me, welcoming me back like an old friend. I took a look around and noticed the piano, the useless kitchen, the couches…

It was then I took notice of the people sitting on the couches. There was Alice and Jasper, staring wide-eyed at the breathtaking vampire holding my hand—and then there was Carlisle. A Carlisle I would not have recognized if I had run into him on the street. A Carlisle whose mind was an empty slate. A Carlisle who sat idly, staring blankly at my face. There was no depth to the black orbs I knew to be eyes—no emotion whatsoever on his handsome face. The bruises underneath his lids were the darkest I had ever seen them. I could feel my face contorting into shock, into fear—fear for Carlisle, fear for my family, and fear for the guilt that Bella must have felt seeing him like this every day.

It was silent for minutes on end. I could feel Bella squirming beside me; she was never good with silence. Finally, Alice broke through the quiet with her thoughts.

"_Who is _that?_"_ she scoffed. I glanced at her—surprisingly, her face was enraged. I narrowed my eyes, warning her to stop. She didn't, of course.

"_Couldn't find Bella so you had to go find a new girl? Made her better looking this time so as to make up for losing the other?"_ My eyes turned shocked, then furious. We stared at each other, a snarl rising from deep in my throat.

Jasper noticed the sudden rage in the room and glanced, wide-eyed, between Alice and me. "Wha-," he started.

"Stop!" I growled, my voice as low as ever.

"Why should I?" Alice screeched. Her melodic voice was filled with fury.

"Because you have no idea what you're talking about."

Alice sat glaring at me. I turned my gaze towards Bella, whose hand was gripping mine so tightly it almost hurt. "Bella?" I whispered, my harsh voice turning soft.

Bella only stared. "Alice?" she choked out. It was obvious she hadn't known my siblings had come along for the show.

Alice's irritated eyes left my face and turned to Bella's. They raked her up and down, taking special time on her beautiful features. Slowly—ever so slowly—Alice's expression softened, turning into shock and disbelief.

It was then that Carlisle spoke.

**Well, here you go. :) I've started the next chapter, but I'm sure you all know what would make it appear faster! heh. And by the way, I have found my epitome of Edward. I just thought I would share. The link is on my author's page if you would like to see. :) Thank you and goodnight!**


	8. Chapter 8

"Hello Edward."

None of us spoke. Alice and Jasper looked as though they hadn't heard Carlisle's voice, but simply stared at the gorgeous vampire that held my hand in disbelief. Bella had the same incredulous look on her lovely face, but turned her head in the direction of the weak voice. She let her amber eyes take a quick glance at my hard expression before she stepped forward towards the unfamiliar man on the couch.

"Bella, no," I said quietly, gripping tighter on her hand and pulling her back. I had no idea what emotions were displayed on my face, but I couldn't care less. My once vibrant, genius father figure was staring at me from his place on our white couch, his hands in his lap and his eyes fixed directly on my own. "Carlisle," I nodded, reluctantly letting go of Bella's calming touch and moving closer to him.

Carlisle smiled slowly; but it cracked and faded as quickly as it had come. He seemed deep in thought, though his deathly black eyes were still as depthless as before. "Have you brought Esme?" Carlisle's pleading tone did not go unnoticed. I could feel my dead heart breaking for Carlisle; only the loss of the most precious part of his life could bring him to this state. Glancing up at Alice, I noticed her frantic eyes flickering between Bella and Carlisle. She took no notice of me whatsoever. Jasper, on the other hand, seemed to take notice of no one. He stared at the ground, his hands at his sides.

"Carlisle…" I started, but no words came. My mind was running wild with useless encouraging words, but I knew better than to try to comfort Carlisle. The only words he needed to hear had to come from Esme herself. All I could do was tell him the truth. "No," I told him simply and firmly.

Carlisle nodded, his eyes seeming to unfocus, and turned away from me. I glanced back over my shoulder to see Bella standing where I had left her, shaking her head with agony clearly etched on her perfect features. She obviously felt as though this new pointless Carlisle was her fault, but I knew otherwise. If I had never left, Bella would never have demanded to be changed. If I had never left, Esme would not have fled. If I had grown a goddamn brain and never left…

"Bella?" Alice whispered. Her eyes had stopped their flickering, focusing now only on the new magnificent vampire in the room.

Bella smiled shyly. She nodded her head slowly, taking a step toward her best friend. "Hi Alice."

"_Oh, my God." _I felt myself smirk quietly at Alice's reaction. Her mind raced a thousand miles an hour, her thoughts becoming jumbled in my mind. Alice couldn't believe how amazing Bella had become; her mind wondered why Bella was here with Carlisle, but most prominent was the question of how Bella was a vampire.

"Bella!" Alice screeched finally, throwing herself across the room to grab Bella in her arms and twirl her around. They were a circled blur of laughter and rejoicing; Bella's musical giggle and Alice's fairy-like tinkle were blended into one heavenly song. I glanced at Jasper, finally seeing his sad eyes staring at his love and mine in a moment all their own. A small smile repeatedly appeared and disappeared from his handsome features.

The girls stopped finally, their hands held tight and ecstatic smiles plastered on their faces. It was a hysterical sight to see; both beamed joy as their laughter died down.

"Hey Bella," Jasper called out. Bella's magnificent eyes flicked toward him, the smile widening. "You look good." Bella let out a small breath and nodded.

"You too, Jasper." He shook his head at her in a disbelieving way. Allowing his resolve to falter, he crossed the room quickly and took her in his arms, laying a soft kiss in her chocolaty brown hair. Jasper backed away quickly however, grabbing Alice's small hand in his own and pulling her to his side.

I looked back to Bella to see her look happier than I had ever seen her. I imagined it was the happiest she had been in over six months, and I decided not to ruin the moment with questions about the deteriorating man sitting just close enough to hear rustling around.

I moved toward the luscious scent emanating off of Bella's silky skin and wrapped my strong arm around her waist. I could feel her smooth strands of hair tickling my skin as she rested her head on my shoulder.

It was a moment; that was the only way to describe it. Being reunited with my family, no matter how different or broken, was almost as good as I had imagined. What made it better was the knowledge that now I was with my other half, the part of me that filled my soul and unbeating heart, my Bella. I would be with her forever, hundreds of years. We would see decades pass and laugh at the fads; we could live on our own, without the worry of my danger to her; we could show each other how very much we desired one another, make love like all the love in the world was ours. I was sure it was in that moment, anyway.

There was only one thing that seemed could make the moment any more blissful, and before I had time to finish my thought, Carlisle's limp voice broke through the silence with a truth that sliced.

"I wish Esme was here."

**Oh, my gosh. An UPDATE?! Yes, and I'm sorry. :( please don't hate me for being on writing hiatus for literally over a month. Or two. This chapter doesn't have much substance but I'm getting back into the groove if you know what I'm sayin':) I promise that something of importance will happen in the next chapter. Thank you !**


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